Sunday, December 31, 2006

Year end Annoyance

I am annoyed.. I was just watching music videos online and watched the video "Pac's Life" by Tupac featuring Ashanti and TI.. It was horrible.. it was so happy, go-lucky... blah.. makes me sick..



Ashanti's part is really unnecessary.. all of her hooks sound exactly the same.. someone needs to tell this girl to retire because her music is PLAYED out!



Pac and TI sound great.. its Ashanti that needs to be bumped off the track.. I don't dig the beat either.. I'm disappointed... if you are paying homage to Tupac, you should at least do a good job..



On a total side note......



I'm downright disgusted by clothing lines such as Baby Phat and Sean John using dog fur to make their clothes, whist advertising it as "faux fur".. Diddy claims that he didn't know that this was happening and apologized.. I'm waiting for PETA to pounce on him and Kimmora Lee.. it'll be fun to see how they get out of that one...



Well boys and girls.. tis the last day of 2006..... a year has come and gone (so has K-fed's "rap" career- thank the heavens above!).. Let's hope that the new year brings us all good tidings, peace and prosperity..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Nas Scores Third No. 1 Album With 'Hip-Hop Is Dead'





Nas scores his third No. 1 on The Billboard 200 this week with his eighth studio set, "Hip Hop Is Dead." The Def Jam effort moved 355,000 copies last week in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan. The rapper's last effort, "Street's Disciple," peaked at No. 5 on the chart. Nas' two other sets to take the summit were 1999's "I Am... The Autobiography" and 1996's "It Was Written."

I can't say I'm surprised. Like I've said before, Nas has irrefutable talent PERIOD! Its nice to know that despite the rise of "crap rap", REAL hip hop is still appreciated.

Z bought me the new Nas album and I dig it a lot. My favourite tracks are "Hip hop is dead" and "Carry on Tradition".

Much love to Nas! Do yo thang!

The Pursuit of Happyness






Just came back from watching The Pursuit of Happyness and I'm feeling so inspired. Chris Garder's story was very moving. And he's managed to remain humble and not forget his adversities (saw him on Oprah a few weeks ago and he was oh so kind hearted and down to earth).



Will Smith does a great job portraying Chris in the movie. I can't contain my tears when Will Smith cries. I'm so used to him acting goofy, that whenever I see him in a scene where he sheds tears, he catches me off guard and I lose it. Damn you Will! I particularly liked the ending.. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen in. But I loved the scene where he's taken into the board room.. that's all I'm saying. Tears galore on my end..



And his son!!! Jayden is SO SO SO SO SO SO CUTE! I think I must have said that at least ten times during the course of the film. It always compels me when I see a child act that well. He was superb. I loved him. And he is SO cute! That hair! That face! His expressions.. aww..



I really admire Chris Garder because he exemplifies what the phrase "good parent" means. Despite his circumstances, he always made time to make his son feel somewhat normal. He spent time with him, he taught him important lessons and he listened to him. This is what children need from their parents... they need attention.. they need love..



I plan on buying Chris Garder's book tomorrow.. I hear its just as good as the movie...

Friday, December 22, 2006

Man arrested after trying to hide $70,000 from airport screeners

Stupid, stupid, stupid.....

That's all I can say...

Man arrested after trying to hide $70,000 from airport screeners

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — A man who told airport security that the $70,000 in cash causing his pants pockets to bulge were Muslim "prayer books" could soon face charges of mortgage fraud.

Federal officials said Don A. White Jr. of Sacramento, attempted to board a Southwest Airlines flight to San Diego last week at the Kansas City International Airport.

After White made two unsuccessful passes through a metal detector, security personnel patted him down and noticed "bulky solid items" in his cargo pants pockets.

White, 27, reportedly told the security officer that he was a Muslim carrying prayer books. He later acknowledged he was Christian but still refused to let security personnel touch his prayer books.

After security supervisor Lowell Brashears recommended White put the prayer books in a tray, let the tray go through the X-ray machine and then get them on the other side, White agreed and stepped up to the X-ray machine, court documents said.

Officers said White then took off, ran out of the terminal and into traffic. He was arrested soon after with the cash in his pockets.

Federal agents claim he told them that the money came from a mortgage fraud scheme in the Kansas City area where loans were obtained using inflated property appraisals. He declined to give more details on the alleged scheme, the court records said.

Prosecutors since 2004 have focused on mortgage fraud rings using inflated property appraisals. In October, real estate investor Brent Barber was sentenced to more than 12 years in prison for being involved in a similar scheme.

White was released on $5,000 bond and ordered to remain in the Kansas City area. Prosecutors plan to take his case to a grand jury.

SOURCE: http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2006-12-21-flier-arrested-after-$70,000-found-said-muslim-prayer-books_x.htm

*Muslim prayer books? Seriously? If he was Muslim, why would he be hiding prayer books in his pants? That just sounds suspect.

*I guess this fool hasn't heard of "wire transfers" when it comes to dealing with large sums of money

Like I said.. STUPID!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Yeay Alicia!




Can't wait for this one!!! I love me some Alicia Keys!




Alicia keys is starting her movie career and is going to kick it off with a bang with Smokin’ Aces. Alicia will play a ruthless assassin in the action comedy along side Ben Affleck and many other big stars.



With a plot straight out of the “48 Hours”/ “Midnight Run” playbook, “Aces” casts Reynolds as an FBI agent masterminding a manhunt for a loudmouthed standup comedian (Piven). With the comic making plans to testify against the mafia, Keys and a collection of fellow hired killers seek to cash in on the contract on his life. As Reynolds’ character attempts to bring the squealing joker into police custody, the comedian insists on entertaining one last Tahoe crowd.



Keys, a former child prodigy who has previously flirted with Hollywood by contributing songs to the “Shaft” and “Men in Black” soundtracks, had previously signed a deal with Sony to portray piano player Philippa Schuyler in a film based on the book “Compositions in Black and White” (see “Alicia Keys To Play Biracial Piano Prodigy In First Movie”). “Smokin’ Aces” would likely leapfrog “Compositions” on Keys’ upcoming production slate.











Good Music vs Commercial Ventures...

Ooooh.. Mos Def's ex wife must have done him wrong.. if you listen to his song "U R the One" (from the new album True Magic-- thanks again Steph!) the man is serious when expressing his feelings towards her.. eeek.. the chorus is very catchy though.. "U R the one, you're the one, FUCK YOU!"... lol..



My fav track on the album is "Dollar Day"... its about time someone came out with such a song..I love it when Mos goes on his "reggae rants".. I really like how it sounds..



Moving on.....



Kelis has her very own Ford campaign.. I didn't see this one coming...yet another celebrity being used to market goods.. She should have at least decided to market something that she would use herself.. A Ford? That's not very believable if you ask me.. Can you see her driving around in a Ford singing "I'm Bossy!".. yeah.. not happening.. I miss her big, curly hair! I liked her first two albums a lot.. the new one she has out right now doesn't appeal to me at all.. I downloaded a bunch of songs and then deleted them all because I found them so annoying.. I'm not wasting space on my computer for nonsense like that! Sorry Kelis! Thank goodness her husband is still churning out good material..




The ad campaign, created by the Uniworld Group-Detroit, will kick off at Kelis’ Dec. 18 celebrity holiday party at New York’s Capitale nightclub and include radio, TV, and print advertising. Ford will give partygoers a glimpse of the campaign.


The radio spot features a song that Kelis (pronounced “Kuh-Leese”) wrote specifically for the campaign entitled “Push it to the Edge” that will begin airing on Dec. 20. The radio spot features a cameo introduction of Kelis and her song from Ford spokesperson and hip-hop DJ Funkmaster Flex. The spot will run on national syndicated radio shows like The Steve Harvey Morning and The Tom Joyner Morning Show. Kelis is also scheduled to participate in various Edge sweepstakes giveaways on the radio shows beginning in February.



The television commercial, entitled “On the Edge,” will feature Kelis and the “Push it to the Edge” track. It will begin airing in late December on major network stations throughout the country.



The print ad campaign for the Ford Edge Kelis campaign, entitled "Shattered," will run in major urban publications such as Jet, Ebony, Upscale and Sister2Sister magazine.



The Kelis campaign also includes special appearances and event tie-ins in key markets.



"This is the first time that we have linked up with an African American celebrity that has been fully integrated into launching a vehicle," says Marc Perry, multicultural marketing manager for the Ford brand. "It just creates added excitement around the vehicle."



The Kelis Edge campaign is primarily targeted at women who fit a personality that Ford marketing officials defines as "Mia," women in their mid-thirties who live an active lifestyle. The automaker expects the campaign to also generate a buzz with men.



To promote the campaign, Kelis is scheduled to make an appearance at the 2007 Detroit auto show for a media day and the show's Charity Preview on January 12.



The Kelis "Push it to the Edge" campaign will also be an integral part of Ford's new urban web site, http://www.fordurban.com,/ that will be launched at the end of December. The site is designed to attract and engage urban buyers with creative video content, third-party reviews, customer discussion rooms and downloadable music, say Ford officials.



The web site will begin with a targeted focus toward Edge buyers and eventually extend to the entire Ford brand line up of car, trucks, SUVs and crossovers. Ford Edge banner ads starring Kelis will also be prevalent on major online portals like AOL - Black Voices and Black Planet.



The Edge, a critical product to Ford's turnaround plan, started being shipped to dealerships Dec. 7 after a delay due to production issues.

SOURCE: http://www.autonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage?ws=uf

And....

What the hell is up with Donald Trump's three minute tirade about Rosie O'Donnell?! (http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah3204.shtml)How many times did he call her unattractive? That's not cool at all. With all the money he's got, you'd think he'd invest in a mirror to look at himself! He's not fine by any means. Just because you have money and can purchase trophy wives does NOT make you hot! Don't hate on Rosie. She's a good person with a great heart. The View has had its highest ratings EVER since she joined this past September. She's got a steady following of fans who will support her unconditionally. Apparently she's posted a response to Donald's tirade on her blog, but because there is so much traffic to the site, I can't see what she said..

DON'T HATE DONALD!

Real Flava

Thank you Stephie for sending me the new Mos and Bilal joints! I love them! Ahhh.. REAL music.. sweet sounds coming out of my speakers.. I'm jamming man..

Have a safe trip to San Jose and have a very Merry Christmas :)

*Long live Puff N' Stuff ;) ---- no, I'm not talking about weed! I'm talking about a convenience store that is by our houses in Mississauga-- where we would frolic to buy She-ra and Jem sticker books and stickers..

Oh how I miss chillin' with you and enjoying Mrs. Fields cookies whilst discussing life :(

Jay--- I hope you got some sleep girlfriend! Remember, when in doubt, block em'!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Well Beyond the Golden Gate Bridge












I was going through some picture folders that I have on my computer from vacations that Z and I have taken since we've been married.

I thought these particular one's were pretty darn cool. I took them in downtown San Francisco.

San Francisco is an interesting place. A contradiction of sorts.

I had always heard how beautiful it was there (the weather, scenery, houses, etc.) so when I went I never expected to see the things that I did.

We were there for about a week because Z was selected (from work) to participate in a conference being held there by the technology industry (companies and schools participated in a five day seminar where new technological concepts were discussed).

While Z would be attending his seminars, I'd wander around downtown San Francisco and explore the city (I love going to new places and exploring my surroundings).

It was so strange because there are so many tall, fancy, business buildings in-between areas where there are literally hundreds upon hundreds of homeless people.
I was so scared initially because never (in my life) have I seen so many homeless people-- growing up in Mississauga?! Come on!

But I soon realized that many of them were too drugged up to even pay attention to me. I will never forget how I sad I felt when I saw homeless women totally strung out on God knows what, begging their pimps for another hit.
Another thing that struck me was how many homeless people there were with missing limbs, manually pushing their wheelchairs and begging for money. So many of them didn't seem like they were in the right state of mind, for the were yelling and screaming all kinds of things that didn't make sense.
I came back to our hotel and googled "San Francisco + homeless population" and low and behold, I found out that San Francisco has the largest homeless population in the US (many of them being Vietnam veterans, people with mental disabilities and others that have just found themselves in a rut).. Many homeless people flock to San Francisco because of the weather.

After having seen that, I don't think that I could ever live in such a place. I literally get depressed when I see people in such a state. I get mad over the state of the world and how unfair life is for many people.

It amazes me when people go there and just talk about the "post card aspects" of the place, failing to even mention the homeless population.

The funniest thing happened while we were there though. We were walking along the "Fisherman's Wharf" area and out of nowhere, a homeless man (who was dressed like a bush) sprung out right in front of us causing both Z and I to scream loudly. Needless to say everyone around us was laughing their assess off (not to mention the homeless man!). We noticed that he kept doing it over and over again well after he scared us and we caught a little video of him on our digital camera. I think Z yelped louder than I did, which makes the memory even funnier.




















Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Urban Gems..


Lady Sovereign


I love this girl.. she's so unique and sassy.. I first heard about her about two and half years ago from my cousins in England.. they sent me her songs over msn (along with M.I.A's tracks as well--- another ridiculously talent artist).. I fell in love with her music instantly.. My favourite songs by Lady Sovereign?..... Love Me or Hate Me and Random hands down..

"Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession. Love me or hate me, that is the question. If you love me then thank you! If you hate me then fuck you!"

I love that chorus.. for multiple reasons....


** Nas's album drops today (Hip Hop is Dead).. I've been waiting for this one for a while.. I am a big fan of Nasir Jones.. I have been since I was in the eighth grade and Illmatic came out.. For anyone who is interested in purchasing the Nas album, its on sale at Best Buy and Future Shop for $10.. I adore the video for Hip Hop is Dead.. no video hoes!




Nasty Nas

Its sad really.. there used to be so many choices when it came to buying cds.. I remember being in high school and having to decide which one's to get first, and which one's to save for later..

Now it seems as though there isn't much quality music (new music/albums) to choose from at all.. I'm talking about hip hop/r&b..

Aside from Nas, the only other hip hop album I'm looking forward to is Mos Def's (True Magic).. It hasn't been released in the US yet (which I find extremely retarded because its already out in Canada and I've got to wait until the 29th of this month to get it)..


Mighty Mos

I've got Pete Rock and CL Smooth's "I Got a Love" blaring right now. This song makes me happy. I was in ninth grade when this song came out (I always associate songs/artists/albums to what grade I was in.. I've done this since I was very little).. My memory scares people at times..
















Monday, December 18, 2006

I find today the lives we lead
Are rooted in days gone by
From the past that leads us far from home
No matter how hard we try
I find that we will never heal
The wounds we carry from the past
I find that we can all but learn
To live again at last

--Mat Mannion

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Tissue paper required..






I stayed up late last night and finished A Walk to Remember. I really didn't expect it to induce so much emotion. Its not a hard read by any means, but Nicholas Sparks certainly has a way of telling a love story--- not one of those sappy love stories that have you rolling your eyes, but a true, unconditional love story that leaves you feeling both warm hearted and thoroughly depressed afterwards.

I'm tempted to rent the DVD version (with Mandy Moore) just to see if the movie did justice to the book.. but something is holding me back.. I hate watching a bad movie.. it really annoys me..

Z and I rented Talladega Nights on Friday night because we're big fans of Sacha Baron Cohen and we thought the movie would be funny.. with the exceptions of a few scenes, we both thought that the movie was very stupid.. I don't know, maybe our sense of humour is different.. We got annoyed and turned it off before it ended.. I hate sitting there, waiting for a movie to "get better"..


So we ended up watching my "I am Sam" DVD instead.. I can't get enough of that movie.. It is a true masterpiece.. Z hadn't seen it before and he really loved it as well.. Sean Penn's role as Sam is mesmerizing. He really should have won an award for his work in this film.. :( Dakota Fanning has me crying every time I watch this movie. I don't know how she did it. She was only six when she made this movie, yet she nails every scene that she is in. I think that people like Paris Hilton and Ms. Spears should look up to Dakota because she possess so much more poise and maturity than they do..


Skin colour: A shady issue?

Skin colour: A shady issue?--- written by Ali Zafar



Who knew skin colour would spark spasms of abrupt anger between grandmother and granddaughter - a rift so deep leaving no hope of a truce between the two. Amama Chowdhury, 22, was born a healthy baby, weighing in at 10 pounds.

But her skin colour, apparently, just wasn't right.

"I was very dark when I was born and my dadi (grandmother from dad's side) got very upset. She said I was too dark. I feel bad, even now. I don't respect her - I used to get in fights with her all the time because she talks about this bullshit, about how I should have been lighter."

Skin colour is a shady issue in South Asia and in South Asian diasporas. The fairer is better ideology is promoted everywhere, through India's largest film industry - Bollywood, through culture and even religion it seems has a part in promoting it. Being "fair" is associated with being "lovely," and large bleach cream industries - such as Fair and Lovely - have blossomed due to the stigma of being dark.

The by-product of this stigma, often small tubes of bleach creams marketed in fancy packages depicting fair skinned women, are found in South Asian grocery stores; many of which are located in Toronto's Gerrard India Bazaar.

From B.J Supermarket to Brother's Halal Meat & Groceries, just about every grocer in the Bazaar holds Fair & Lovely along with Stillman's another popular bleach cream - unless they're sold out - as was the case in Friendly Supermarket. But bleach creams aren't only found on shelves in South Asian grocery stores. At Kashmir Beauty Salon they're incorporated in "fairness facials."

Soniya Soni, a cosmetologist at Kashmir Beauty Salon in Malton, does "fairness facials" on customers, usually South Asian females. Soni uses hot towels to steam the face. Once the skin is tender, blackheads are cleared out and she washes the face. Finally, Soni lathers the face with bleach cream for 15 to 20 minutes.

Originally from India, Soni doesn't think the use of bleach creams is a big deal. "When you go out in the sun - especially in India - you get tanned, and if your face looks black then you bleach it to make yourself look lighter," says Soni casually, adding it's just another way of making yourself feel pretty. She says "the use of fairness creams is big and Fair and Lovely is very popular in India."

Fair and Lovely is marketed by Hindustan Lever Limited - headquartered in Mumbai, India - and has made millions in profits by exporting worldwide. It's composed of sunscreens and Vitamin B3, which controls how much melanin is created in the skin - with dark-skinned people having more melanin than light-skinned people. According to its website, Fair and Lovely takes a period of six weeks to make the skin fairer and the process is harmless and reversible. But Chowdhury is not one of the company's customers."

I don't want to make myself different - I want to be the way I am, I want to be natural." It's been five years since Chowdhury moved to Toronto, but she still has vivid memories of back home. "In Bangladesh, just about everybody uses Fair and Lovely. There was an ad on TV where they would show how a tanned hand becomes fair with the use of Fair and Lovely."Chowdhury says the use of bleach creams by South Asian girls is all about appeal. "They want to attract guys; it's all about looking sexy. I think people talk about you when you're dark, saying things like you're not pretty." Or worse. "Sometimes for South Asian girls, you can't get married if you're dark because when the guy comes over to see the girl, the guy's family is discouraged by the dark girl."

Vanita Mahal, a Cosmetics Manager at Shoppers Drugmart says being dark is taboo in South Asian communities. Originally from north India, Mahal has been living in Toronto for more than 10 years. "Every girl wants to look pretty, no one wants to look dark because there's this myth in South Asia where light is beautiful," says Mahal.

She was once an avid user of bleach creams. From grade 10 to second-year university, Mahal lathered on the creams, primarily to blend the thin facial hair with the skin. "My older sisters used them back in India, so I started using them. It's stupid, skin colour doesn't really matter because every girl is unique - every girl is pretty in her own way. I used to use them but I realized afterward that I don't need them because I'm pretty the way I am," says Mahal.

As a cosmetic manager, Mahal says she sees many South Asian women wanting to look lighter. "It's crazy, dark women come up to me and ask for the lightest foundation," says Mahal.But why the craze with wanting to look fair?Professor of South Asian Studies at York University, Hira Singh, says the ideology of fairer is better was partly promoted by colonialism in the Indian sub-continent. "It didn't originate with colonialism but colonialism did contribute to it," says Professor Singh.

Even though the British didn't favour people due to colour, white people being there and dominating - it did make whiteness a privilege, promoting being fairer as better."But he says this ideology goes back even further to the caste system - which existed 2000 years before India was colonized. The system equates light skin with a more revered caste. Members of the highest caste - Brahmin, who are usually priests - are suppose to be lighter and people of the lowest caste - Shudra or poor labourers - are comparatively darker, says professor Singh.

The caste system isn't alone in promoting the fairer is better ideology; religion has a part in it as well. "Most of the popular Hindu Gods are fair, Ram, his wife Sita, Khrisna and even Shiva - he's samvla - which is like a Mediterranean skin colour," says Professor Singh.But Chowdhury - who's a Muslim - says it has a lot to do with culture. "You have to be fair to be pretty - that's the main problem - I don't know what's wrong with these people."

One of the major influences on Indian culture is Bollywood. This word conjures up images of lovers dancing on top of Swiss mountains or playing pee-ka-boo behind trees. It's a Hindi language film industry based in Mumbai - very popular amongst South Asians.Some actors from Bollywood have made it out in the West - one of the biggest being Aishwarya Rai - whose L'Oreal advertisements were seen high above Toronto's Eaton Centre - until recently when a windstorm brought them down. Rai was crowned Miss World 1994 and has featured in many Bollywood movies, from Taal to one of the heavy-hitters of Bollywood - Devdas. She's light skinned, has greenish eyes and there are many other actresses in Bollywood like her - Kareena Kapoor, Madhuri Dixit, Manisha Koirala, Juhi Chawla, the list goes on.

Of course there are few dark-skinned actresses in Bollywood - such as Bipasha Basu, but it seems for every Basu there are many Rais out there. Even Indian songs - such as Gori Hain Kaliyaan (your arms are white) or Gori Tera Gaon Bada Pyra (white girl your town is pretty) - illustrate how a girl is fair, never how she's dark.Though dark skin colour caused Chowdhury to endure an upsetting relationship with her grandmother, her older sister is suffering a fate considered by many South Asians to be much worse - not being able to find a husband. "My sister has dark skin so when guys interested in ristas [marriage proposals] come in, they don't like the way she looks. My sister never uses Fair and Lovely because she doesn't want to change herself for all those guys."

This April, my dad is taking my sister to Bangladesh - looking for a guy who will marry her for who she is. She's 29 and she gets frustrated because she can't find a husband due to her skin colour," says Chowdhury. And she's not alone. Professor Singh says in his local village of Mahuari, India, many women can't find husbands."If you got a dark daughter and you're not very rich, you're not going to find the right husband - the right husband is light. I grew up in a small village in India and this was always a problem - that a girl couldn't get married because she was too dark," says Professor Singh.For Chowdhury the fairer is better ideology is never going to end. "I was born in 1984, and one of my baby cousins was born two years ago, and people say she's very dark, so even now this is going on, it won't stop. This sort of thinking passes from generation to generation."Even when we get to 2010, it's going to go on and on, it won't stop."



This is an issue that I have debated over for years now. I have literally gotten into yelling matches and have had to leave rooms because I feel that people can be SO ignorant when it comes to skin colour. I've heard comments such as "oh, so and so would be more attractive if she wasn't so dark", and "oh, thank God our baby is so fair skinned"... what the hell is wrong with people?

I think that every country that was ever under the British rule has skin colour complexes.. from my own experiences, I find that South Asians are the most blunt about how they feel about "darker skinned" people. I could be wrong... I'm simply talking about the people that I have been exposed to.. God knows I've heard some really horrible things from customers, random people in the mall having conversations.. even people that I went to school with..

I have actually known girls that have gone back to India to get their skin lightened. One of them came back with severe burns on her face because the salon that she went to used chemicals that aren't supposed to be used on the epidermis at all. Her mother was the one that suggested that she get this procedure done because if she didn't no one would want to marry her. Great parenting skills there!

I don't understand why people go to such lengths to be accepted by such an ignorant society. Its quite unfortunate that people are judged based on their skin tone.. visit any South Asian matrimonial site (they are quite amusing) and you will see that many people write things in their profiles such as "very fair, fair, wheat coloured (what the hell is that?), medium" and so on.. Too bad your skin tone can't guarantee a successful marriage..






Saturday, December 16, 2006

LOL!



"....gayly they ring,
songs of good cheer,your husband's queer.
Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas....."

Warm wishes from Star and Al.

A Declaration of Independence



An excellent author (Desirable Daughters, Jasmine, Holder of the World, The Tree Bride, Wife,-- all part of my extensive book collection) who has taken steps to break the "traditional role" for Indian women from her generation. I wish that more South Asian women would realize that they do indeed have power and that they can utilize it whenever they desire.

I think the most valuable piece of advice that I have ever been given was from my cousin Naela. She told me several years ago that "people will only have as much power over you as you give them".. that was truly an epiphany for me...




AHA! MOMENTA Declaration of Independence


She'd lived her entire childhood by the rules. Then, one day, Bharati Mukherjee slid into the driver's seat.

As a bookish child in Calcutta, I used to thrill to the adventures of bad girls whose pursuit of happiness swept them outside the bounds of social decency. Tess of the d'Urbervilles, Emma Bovary and Anna Karenina lived large in my imagination. The naughty girls of Hollywood films flirted and knew how to drive. These reckless women felt more real to me than the unselfish relatives I was expected to emulate. Growing up in an old-fashioned Bengali Hindu family and going to a convent school run by stern Irish nuns, I was brought up to revere rules. Without rules, there was only anarchy.

My mother's rules had to do with feminine deportment, so I never played hard enough to break a toy or muddy my dress. My father's rules had to do with never shaming the family by even a hint of scandal, and not providing business rivals with an opportunity to kidnap me or throw acid in my face. (There are real consequences to disobedience.) Good behavior meant not falling in love until my father found the right bridegroom and never protesting his decrees. Kidnap-proofing meant never traveling to and from school in a car without a driver, two armed guards and my watchful mother.

Not, not, not. Never, never, never.

One day, as I was being driven home from the university, our driver asked me—I'll never know why—if I wanted to learn to drive. To be a young woman in India in the 1950s and to drive a car was to be Anna and Emma—even Doris Day. I slipped behind the Rover's steering wheel. Within seconds, we were edging toward a ring of squatters. The car kept drifting; I screamed; the chauffeur shouted and pulled the brake. I didn't hit anyone, but for the first time I found myself in a situation that my entire upbringing had aimed to prevent. In India, there are real consequences to inattention; drivers who jeopardize pedestrians can be lynched on the spot. I scrambled for the backseat. The chauffeur bundled one wailing squatter into the car and sped home. My father took charge. Presumably, a few—maybe many—rupees changed hands. The driver was reprimanded and shortly thereafter sent back to Calcutta. I never admitted my misdeed.

In the events of that day lies the germ of a destiny far less certain than my father had intended. Acting on instinct, I had challenged my upbringing. I'd seen the last demonstration of his protective power. I might have failed my first unchaperoned probing of the adult world, but within a year, my sisters and I would be living on our own in America, a place he'd never seen. We would all make love matches, defying his choice of suitable grooms. The transgression was small, unconfessed and unforgiven. My long-suppressed inner bad girl had spoken. "Drive," she said. "Take a risk, be cunning, lie." She might even have said: "Write." Bharati Mukherjee's sixth novel, Desirable Daughters, was published in the spring by Hyperion.

Currently reading "A Walk to Remember" by Nicholas Sparks. I read some good reviews about it and decided to buy it off of amazon (for $0.01).. can't go wrong with that price. Shipping cost more than the book itself. God knows how many books I've purchased from amazon... not to mention dvds and cds.. they should have a customer rewards program or something..

And that's just one of the book shelves!.. I don't think Z knew what he was getting into when he married me... soon our house will be taken over by books and he won't know what hit him..

I saved the BEST for LAST!!!.. Yeay for Oprah!!
Winfrey, ABC working on 2 reality shows
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Oprah Winfrey is expanding her media reach into reality television. Her production company is working on two prime-time series for ABC, tentatively titled Oprah Winfrey's The Big Give and Your Money or Your Life, ABC and Harpo Productions announced Friday.

The deal, which marks Winfrey's entrance into series TV, comes about three months after Harpo formed a new television development group for alternative shows, Tim Bennett, the company's president, said in a statement.

The Big Give provides money and other resources to 10 people and challenges them to help others in a way that tests the players' ingenuity and passion, according to the companies. The winner gets to realize their "wildest" dream.

Your Money or Your Life, which is in development, features families who are confronted by a crisis and must change or risk being "consumed by disaster," according to the joint ABC-Harpo release.

Winfrey's move into series TV is "monumental," ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson said in the release. The show's focus on "wish fulfillment and making lives better," he said.

Besides daytime TV's The Oprah Winfrey Show, Harpo produces TV projects and operates the website oprah.com. Harpo Print LLC co-publishes O, Winfrey's monthly magazine, while Harpo Films produces feature films and TV movies.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Josie is my hero!




I just finished reading this book today (Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta). I literally fell in love with this book. It's hard to describe. It has been a very long time since a book has made me laugh out loud, cry and shake my head in agreement all in one sitting. I feel that as a "minority", I can relate to many of the feelings that the main character (Josie) experiences. It is very hard at times (especially when you are in the midst of "growing up and finding yourself") not to fall prey to societal pressure-- when you come from a background with rich traditions and cultural expectations, its as if you have to not only fit into the society that you were born and raised in, but you have to adhere to the "norms" from your background as well.

It is hard to find a balance sometimes. But from my own experience I have learned that you have to carve out a path that is best for you, as an individual. Following every tradition that your family in the "old country" followed before you were born is next to impossible to do and shouldn't be expected of children that are born and raised in North America.

Thankfully, my parents were exceptional when it came to understanding who I was as an individual. They were the first one's to tell me not to care what anyone thought of me and to do what I felt was right for my own life. I lucked out because there are numerous parents who simply do not possess a sense of understanding towards their children and how hard it is to grow up with the pressure to fit into not just one society, but two.

So many parents lug around their cultural baggage for years and believe that because they didn't get to fulfill their dreams due to their parents expectations, that they too should put their children through the same destructive cycle. I thank God that my parents never thought this way.

As I grew older and realized more about the world around me and what I liked/disliked, my parents grew with me. Our relationship has grown stronger and I love them even more than I ever imagined possible.

This book has made me thankful for the decisions that I have made in my life. It has made me realize that many people (from all different backgrounds and religions) share many of the same experiences when they come from immigrant families.

I loved how Josie learned so much about herself and her family members. After finishing this book, I felt as though I knew her mother, her "Nonna" and her father.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is willing to read it, for it is simply phenomenal.

Thank you to Stella for exposing me to this fine piece of literature. You have great taste in books!

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com

Seventeen-year-old Josephine Alibrandi is no stranger to conflict. If she's not caught between her strict single mom and her even stricter grandmother, then she's trying to choose between wealthy good boy John Barton and working-class bad boy Joseph Coote. Josephine is always in trouble with the nuns at her Catholic school (who everyone calls "penguins because of them wearing wimples and all that Sound of Music gear") because she fights with native Australian kids over her mixed Australian/Italian heritage. Just when she thinks her situation couldn't possibly get more complicated, her mysterious, long-lost biological father comes back and Josephine must decide if it's worth getting to know this person who abandoned her and her mother. But through it all--including a startling revelation from her grandmother and the suicide of a close friend--Josephine manages to hold on to her sense of humor, as in this reflective moment: "I could have been a model for Hot Pants. Except that when I finally put my glasses on, reality set in. Hot Pants would have to wait."

Award-winning Australian author Melina Marchetta has created a strong and sassy role model in Josephine, whom girls with growing pains on both sides of the Pacific will love. Although this involving novel is set in the author's native Australia, American readers will feel right at home, thanks to the charismatic, outspoken narrator, 17-year-old Josephine Alibrandi. A scholarship student at a tony Catholic girls' school, Josie is aware that she is different from her affluent "Aussie" classmates: she's illegitimate, and she's closely tied to her Italian immigrant community. She feels periodically rebellious against her classmates' snobbishness, against the nuns' authority at school, against her community's mores. Even so, Josie clearly regards the women in her life, her single mother, her grandmother and even some of the nuns with affection as well as exasperation. Josie has less experience dealing with guys until senior year, when three members of the opposite sex complicate her world. Her father, who has not previously known of her existence, arrives on the scene unexpectedly, and she can't help feeling drawn to him. She also becomes involved with two boys her own age: the upper-class but desperately unhappy John Barton and the wilder, iconoclastic Jacob Coote. The casting or plot may sound cliched, but the characterizations are unusually insightful and persuasive. In articulate, passionate prose, Marchetta weaves the intricate web of Josephine's relationships, juxtaposing her revelations about her family history against current crises. If the author loses momentum at the end, straining for tidy closure, she does, simultaneously, leave open new doorways for her heroine.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Frankie, you were truly outrageous!




I had a very random memory this morning upon waking up from my sweet slumber. I recalled being in grade 2 and spending lunch recess with my friend Frankie. Frankie was hopelessly intrigued by cartoons such as Jem and She-ra (as was I-- but I'm a girl, so that's expected.. or should I say "accepted").. It was odd really.. girls could watch cartoons such as He-man and G.I. Joe (which I watched religiously as well) and no one would make fun of them. But as soon as a boy admitted to watching "girly" cartoons, he was immediately an outcast. Stupid rules!

I loved Frankie's company. He was so much fun to hang out with. We would spend our recesses with his Fisher Price radio and his homemade Jem tapes, dancing our hearts out. Frankie would always tape every song (by placing his radio against the tv speaker and recording) each song that was ever featured on Jem. He would then bring it to school so we could dance and sing to each song.

We even had the same Jem colouring books, which we would also bring along with us to our lunch time Jem marathon. Every episode that aired of Jem was discussed by the both of us in great length. We were SO excited when "Glitter and Gold Jem" came out. I think it was the highlight of grade two for the both of us!

I wonder where Frankie is now. We were friends until middle school and then went our separate ways because we went to different high schools.

I wonder if he remembers me as fondly as I remember him. He was really a good friend to me. He never once hesitated or thought twice about lending me his Jem tapes or toys.

I remember once I borrowed his Rhythm Nation tape (Janet Jackson) and it broke in my radio. I tried so hard to take it out without further damaging it, but my efforts were in vain. I went to school the next day crying, fearing the Frankie would no longer be my friend and that he would get his older brother's to beat me up. Much to my surprise Frankie wasn't upset at all. He said that he understood that such things happen and that he had played that tape a lot, so maybe that was the reason why it broke. When I tried to give him money to cover the cost of the tape, he wouldn't have it. He was adamant in saying that such things happen and for me not to worry about it. How nice was that?

Sigh... such good memories.....

I really hope wherever Frankie is, that he's doing well and enjoying life-- and that he hasn't changed..

Monday, December 11, 2006

NKOTB 4EVER!

Why is Nicole Richie's DUI charge "Breaking News"?... I don't think I will ever understand the celebrity world.. poor girl though.. I do feel bad for her.. I like Nicole Richie.. I know that she's going through some things, but I think she's very funny and pretty (I know, I know.. she needs to gain weight.. 85 pounds.. I know.. its bad).. but still.. I like her.. I always watch The Simple Life re-runs because of her.. I hope that she can somehow resume a "normal" life.. whatever "normal" is in Hollywood these days..

So, according to the latest edition of Ebony magazine, Halle Berry is coming out with an album.. seriously?! The album will apparently be dropping in February some time.. I just hope that it is somewhat good.. I couldn't see myself buying it though.. I tried to see if any songs have leaked on to the net yet, but no such luck..

Now on to some "Tiger Beat" memories.....

Let me tell you that this past weekend was a total New Kids on the Block throw back weekend.. yes.. you have read correctly.. I am not afraid to admit that I love the New Kids.. I watched every video that was available on youtube (if you're a fan, check out their 1991 American Music Awards performance of the song "Games"-- its pretty dope--- J-lo is one of the back up dancers for them.. how crazy is that?!)

If I had to choose my all-time favourite song by them, I would have to say "Step by Step"... hearing that song brings back so many memories from 5th grade. I was obsessed with NKOTB. My friends and I would say things like "I want to have boys when I grow up because I want to name them Jordan and Donnie".. yeah.. good times..

Hummm.. I'm wondering who could hit a higher note.. Jordan Knight or Justin Timberlake..

What I would have done to go to a NKOTB concert back in the day.. I remember several people from my 4th grade class went.. and they had amazing seats too (second and third row).. I was so jealous.. The same people got to go to the Janet Jackson concert that year (1990).. ugh.. those kids do not realize how lucky they were.. spoiled brats..

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Of cold weather and movies...

The snow has ceased.. but it is extremely cold.. the heating is still on and I am still wearing layers of clothes.. something that Ms.Spears is apparently refraining from doing.. what's up with the lack of panties? That's just nasty!

I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of "Dreamgirls".. its been getting so much hype for the past several months.. I really hope that it is indeed as good as it claims to be.. nothing worse than wasting money on a movie ticket and being bored out of your mind throughout the duration of a movie..

That happened to Z and I during Miami Vice.. God, that was torture.. it was such a HORRIBLE movie.. ugh... I'm trying to decide which one was worse... Miami Vice or Lady in the Water..

I saw Babel again for the second time over the weekend. I had seen it during my visit to Mississauga, but Z was unable to see it.. so I went again with him during the weekend.. I thought that it was very, very well done and the acting was impeccable.. I could have done without a few certain scenes involving the Japanese girl, but hey, we can't always get what we want...

The season finale of America's Next Top Model is on tomorrow.. I really don't care for the final three all that much.. My top pick was Anchal, but alas, due to her self-esteem issues she was eliminated several weeks ago. All I know is that I do not, by any means want Melrose to win. She annoys me greatly.



Thursday, November 30, 2006

SNOW?!


Poor Kitty.. I'm confused too!

It is snowing.... I am in Dallas, Texas and there is snow flying around outside.. our house is freezing, despite the fact that the heater is on.. our windows are not equipped for such cold weather because.. well.. because its TEXAS damn it! I am freezing.. I have three shirts on, thermal socks and a blanket around me....

The roads are horrible.. they don't put salt on the roads like they do in Toronto (because they don't expect shit like this to happen!).. so you know what they use instead?.... sand... there are trucks driving around dumping sand everywhere...

My friends are laughing at me because I was happily taunting them saying that I would never have to endure another winter.. me and my big mouth..

As you can probably tell.. I don't fancy cold weather.. especially when I am not expecting it! At least in Toronto, you KNOW it get's cold, and that there is a winter.. but here in Dallas, this isn't the norm by any means.. Just the other day it was 80 degrees and the air conditioning was on! I don't like any kind of extreme weather.. extreme weather bites!

DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING! YOU SUCK!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Back in Dallas

Airport Woes

It's been a while since I last posted. I didn't have much time to sit down and write out my thoughts while I was in Mississauga. But it sure was great to be back and spend time with my amazing family and lovely friends.

While I was waiting at the airport on Monday afternoon (to come back to Dallas), there was a woman (who was probably the same age as myself--- 26) who had two small children. One was a cute little baby girl with big, round eyes and chubby cheeks and the other was a two and half year old boy who was bursting with energy.

At first I felt bad for the mother because she seemed to be having a very hard time managing two small children by herself, so I started to play with her son and keep him occupied while she took care of the baby girl.

Much to my dismay the kids stunk like cigarettes and both of them had bruises on their faces. I really adore children, so to see little one's with such prominent bruises on their faces really bothered me. The mother didn't seem like the nurturing type. She seemed quite annoyed at the hand that she had been dealt. I always say that not all people are meant to have children. She illustrated my point perfectly.

Every time her son wanted her attention, she ignored him and he would then throw a tantrum by laying down in front of her and crying loudly. You know what she would do to him? She'd man handle him by lifting him up by one arm and dragged him around like a rag doll. She even kicked him a few times. She kicked her two and a half year old son.

I kept telling her son to come over and sit with me and I'd try to keep his attention as long as I could. At one point, we flipped through every page of the "Allure" magazine that I bought (twice). He'd point to everything on the page and say "what's that?" I was quite impressed by the fact that he knew so many words and colours.

But really, how long can you keep a child's attention with a magazine? I tried pulling things out of my purse to amuse him so that he wouldn't throw tantrums (which would result in him getting physically hurt), but it was obvious that he really wanted his mother's attention.

I realized something extremely important that day-- that children, (especially young children) NEED their mother's attention. It's a simple realization really, but so many people fail to understand this. Tantrums are usually caused because the children are being ignored. I've seen it happen so many times now.

It's not by any means easy being a mother. Like Oprah has said, being a mother is the hardest and most important job in the world for you are responsible for another person's life. But if you are not ready to assume that responsibility, please, don't bring children into the world and treat them horribly.

I wish I could have done something more to help those children. I tried to get more information from the woman about where she lived in Texas (I thought I could perhaps contact child services), but she mostly complained about her kids and how the plane was taking so long to arrive (which it wasn't)..

Sigh.. God help all of the children that are in such situations..

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Pink is the new Blog

I am getting a kick out of reading this blog:

http://trent.blogspot.com/

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Home Sweet Home

Back in Tdot for twenty days.. I arrived yesterday afternoon and God did it feel good.. its funny how you miss little things when you move away.. the leaves changing colour.. the stores around your home.. your mom's cooking-- which is always prepared with so much love-- at least my mom's is..

I love hugging my parents.. its as if I can feel their love through their hugs.. I didn't think that it was possible to love them more than I already did.. but since moving away, I think that this has happened.. I appreciate every little thing about them.. they have been and still are so very good to me.. I love, love, love, love LOVE my parents..

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

T.O.-made ad part of online revolution


A woman is transformed in a Dove Evolution ad by photo software.
Dove clip soars to top of YouTube
Oct. 24, 2006. 02:21 PM
DANA FLAVELLE
BUSINESS REPORTER

A video searing itself into global pop culture atop the YouTube website is a hypnotic take on manufactured beauty created by a Toronto advertising agency.
The 75-second film, showing a pleasant-looking woman being artificially transformed — via makeup, hairstyling and photo-alteration software — was created by Ogilvy & Mather (Toronto) for Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty website.

Janet Kestin, the ad agency's co-chief creative director, said the Dove Evolution clip was posted to the popular YouTube.com video-sharing site almost as an afterthought, after it caught the attention of her head office's formidable public relations team in New York.
Last week the clip was YouTube's most viewed, with more than a million hits and counting, and it captured the attention of several major American TV network talk shows, including Good Morning America.

"It was like the perfect storm in a way," Kestin said. "We couldn't have planned the response that we got."

In the video, featuring a close-up of a blond woman's face, a new hairstyle and makeup quickly make her look glamourous while digital tweaks to her lips, neck and eyes propel her to generic cover-girl looks on a billboard.

The Dove campaign doesn't directly pitch soap but has used women of different shapes and sizes to debunk the precepts of standard beauty.

"Our goal with this film was to create a conversation about what is beauty and invite women to participate in that conversation," said Mark Wakefield, marketing director for Unilever Canada. "The Internet is a great place to do that."

The short film was originally intended for the Dove campaign website. It was Ogilvy's idea to add YouTube to the mix.

The Dove ad isn't the first to appear on YouTube in the 18 months since the site was founded. Burger King has posted ads featuring rap star Sean (P. Diddy) Combs eating a Whopper. And Volkswagen's ad agency uploaded several of its TV spots just to see what would happen.
But it's fresh evidence that advertisers, scrambling to reach a younger audience fleeing TV, are willing to try anything to broaden their reach.

Despite Dove's success, Kestin cautions that YouTube isn't for everyone.
"This was our first time on YouTube. You can't know what's going to capture the larger imagination and what isn't," Kestin said.

"I think advertisers have to be very careful what they throw up there. You can be torn down just as quickly as you're built up."

Others have tried it with unpredictable results.

A story making the rounds in advertising circles involves an experiment by the ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky, of New York. It threw some Volkswagen TV ads on YouTube.
Only a handful of people watched them. Then, a user uploaded a grainy version of one of the same spots and 1.7 million people watched it.

"You can't explain this," Jeff Benjamin, a creative director for Crispin Porter, told the New York Times last week. "Someone passed it on to a friend, who passed it to others, until eventually it gets in the right people's hands. You just can't predict what will happen."
Dove's success also raises new questions about how Google will recoup the $1.65 billion (U.S.) it paid two weeks ago for what had been largely an amateur video site. Posting the Dove video on YouTube didn't cost the advertiser a penny.

In fact, Unilever saved tens of thousands of dollars it might have otherwise spent trying to reach a wider audience, says Ogilvy's art director Tim Piper.

A regular YouTube user, Piper simply uploaded the film to his personal site. A second, unrelated person also uploaded it from Dove's website in the U.S. All of the hits since then have come from one of these two original postings, Piper said.

Kestin said that, for advertisers, "It's critical to play in the new world. But it's naïve to assume you can do things the old way in a new medium."

TNS Media Intelligence, of New York says advertisers spent $4.7 billion (U.S.) on the Internet in the first half of this year, while the Interactive Advertising Bureau, a trade group, put the number at twice that amount.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Good Girls Go Bad, for a Day


Good Girls Go Bad, for a Day--By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM


IN her thigh-highs and ruby miniskirt, Little Red Riding Hood does not appear to be en route to her grandmother’s house. And Goldilocks, in a snug bodice and platform heels, gives the impression she has been sleeping in everyone’s bed. There is a witch wearing little more than a Laker Girl uniform, a fairy who appears to shop at Victoria’s Secret and a cowgirl with a skirt the size of a tea towel.


POST-POST-POST-FEMINISM? Halloween is a day to flaunt your inner vixen.

TRICKS Seemingly innocuous characters have a sexy edge in costumes, which evoke male fantasies and reinforce a larger cultural message: younger is hotter.

Anyone who has watched the evolution of women’s Halloween costumes in the last several years will not be surprised that these images — culled from the Web sites of some of the largest Halloween costume retailers — are more strip club than storybook. Or that these and other costumes of questionable taste will be barely covering thousands of women who consider them escapist, harmless fun on Halloween.


“It’s a night when even a nice girl can dress like a dominatrix and still hold her head up the next morning,” said Linda M. Scott, the author of “Fresh Lipstick: Redressing Fashion and Feminism” (Palgrave Macmillan) and a professor of marketing at the University of Oxford in England.


The trend is so pervasive it has been written about by college students in campus newspapers, and Carlos Mencia, the comedian, jokes that Halloween should now be called Dress-Like-a-Whore Day.


But the abundance of risqué costumes that will be shrink-wrapped around legions of women come Oct. 31 prompts a larger question: Why have so many girls grown up to trade in Wonder Woman costumes for little more than Wonderbras?


“Decades after the second wave of the women’s movement, you would expect more of a gender-neutral range of costumes,” said Adie Nelson, the author of “The Pink Dragon Is Female: Halloween Costumes and Gender Markers,” an analysis of 469 children’s costumes and how they reinforce traditional gender messages that was published in The Psychology of Women Quarterly in 2000.


Dr. Nelson, a professor of sociology at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, said the trend toward overtly sexualized costumes actually begins with little girls. “Heroic figures for women or considered icons of femininity are very much anchored in the femme fatale imagery,” she said, adding that those include an assortment of Disney heroines, witches, cocktail waitresses, French maids and an “interchangeable variety of beauty queens.”


While researching “Pink Dragon,” Dr. Nelson found that even costumes for little girls were gendered. Boys got to be computers while the girls were cupcakes. Today, there are bride costumes for little girls but one is hard pressed to find groom costumes for little boys. Additionally, Dr. Nelson said, the girls’ costumes are designed in ways that create the semblance of a bust where there is none. “Once they’re older women it’s just a continuation of that same gender trend,” she said.


Men’s costumes are generally goofy or grotesque ensembles with “Animal House”-inspired names like Atomic Wedgie and Chug-A-Lug Beer Can. And when they dress up as police officers, firefighters and soldiers, they actually look like people in those professions. The same costumes for women are so tight and low-cut they are better suited for popping out of a cake than outlasting an emergency.


Obviously, however, many women see nothing wrong with making Halloween less about Snickers bars and SweeTarts and more about eye candy.
Rebecca Colby, 28, a library clerk in Milwaukee, said the appeal of sexy costumes lies in escaping the workaday, ho-hum dress code.
“I’m not normally going to wear a corset to go out,” said Ms. Colby, who has masqueraded as a Gothic witch with a low-cut bodice, a minidress-wearing bumblebee, a flapper and, this year, most likely, a “vixen pirate.”


“Even though you’re in a costume when you go out to a party in a bar or something, you still want to look cute and sexy and feminine,” she said.
Indeed, many women think that showing off their bodies “is a mark of independence and security and confidence,” said Pat Gill, the interim director of the Institute of Communications Research and a professor of gender and women’s studies at the
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.


It is a wonder gyms do not have “get in shape for Halloween” specials.
In her book “Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality” (
Harvard University Press), Deborah Tolman, the director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality at San Francisco State University and a professor of human sexuality studies there, found that some 30 teenage girls she studied understood being sexy as “being sexy for someone else, not for themselves,” she said.


When the girls were asked what makes them feel sexy, they had difficulty answering, Dr. Tolman said, adding that they heard the question as “What makes you look sexy?”
Many women’s costumes, with their frilly baby-doll dresses and high-heeled Mary Janes, also evoke male Lolita fantasies and reinforce the larger cultural message that younger is hotter.
“It’s not a good long-term strategy for women,” Dr. Tolman said.
But does that mean women should not use Halloween as an excuse to shed a few inhibitions?
“I think it depends on the spirit in which you’re doing it,” Dr. Tolman said. “I’m not going to go and say this is bad for all women.”


Perhaps, say some scholars, it could even be good. Donning one of the many girlish costumes that sexualize classic characters from books, including “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” “Cinderella” and “The Wizard of Oz,” can be campy, female sartorial humor, said Professor Gill. It can be a way to embrace the fictional characters women loved as children while simultaneously taking a swipe at them, she said. “The humor gives you a sense of power and confidence that just being sexy doesn’t,” she said.


Dr. Tolman added that it is possible some women are using Halloween as a “safe space,” a time to play with sexuality. By taking it over the top, she said, they “make fun of this bill of goods that’s being sold to them.”


“Hey, if we can claim Halloween as a safe space to question these images being sold to us, I think that’s a great idea,” Dr. Tolman said.


But it may be only an idea. Or, more fittingly in this case, a fantasy.


“I love to imagine that there’s some real social message, that it’s sort of the female equivalent of doing drag,” Dr. Nelson said. “But I don’t think it’s necessarily so well thought out.”


Tanda Word, 26, a graduate student at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, who wrote a satirical article about the trend for The Daily Toreador, agreed. “I think it’s damaging because it’s not just one night a year,” she said. “If it’s all the costume manufacturers make, I think it says something bigger about the culture as a whole.”


Salacious costumes — the most visible reminder that Halloween is no longer the sole domain of children — have been around longer than plastic Grim Reaper scythes. But there has been an emergence of “ultrasexy” costumes in the last couple of years, according to Christa Getz, the purchasing director for BuyCostumes.com, which sells outfits with names like Little Bo “Peep Show” and Miss Foul Play.


“Probably over 90 to 95 percent of our female costumes have a flirty edge to them,” Ms. Getz said, adding that sexy costumes are so popular the company had to break its “sexy” category into three subdivisions this year.


Heather Siegel, the vice president of HalloweenMart.com, said her company’s sexy category is among its most popular. (The two best-selling women’s costumes are a low-cut skin-tight referee uniform and a pinup-girl-inspired prisoner outfit called Jail Bait.)


“Almost everybody gets dressed up really, really sexy for it,” said Carrie Jean Bodner, a senior at Cornell University in Ithaca who wrote about the abundance of skimpy Halloween garb for The Cornell Daily Sun last year. “Even the girls who wouldn’t dream of going to class without their pearls and pullovers.”


Last year Ms. Bodner, 21, dressed up as a sexy pinch-hitter for an imaginary baseball team. This year she and her friends are considering being va-voom Girl Scouts.
Ms. Getz of BuyCostumes.com said far more women are buying revealing costumes than firing off indignant e-mail messages asking, “Why are all of your costumes so sexy?” (though some do).


Still, women may be buying racy outfits because that is all that is available. Ms. Getz said she wished there were more sexy men’s costumes on the market and that the lack of them is but further evidence of the gender double standard. “It’s just not as socially acceptable,” she said, adding that men feel comfortable expressing themselves with Halloween costumes that are “either crude or outrageous or obnoxious.”


Ms. Siegel of HalloweenMart.com said the costume industry is merely mirroring the fashion industry, where women have more variety in their wardrobes. Besides, she said, men are less interested in accessorizing. “They’re happy grabbing a mask and a robe and being done,” she said.


At least they get a robe. Ms. Bodner of Cornell estimated that it will be about 30 degrees in Ithaca on Oct. 31.


“We’re not just risking our dignity here,” she said. “We’re risking frostbite.”


Saturday, October 21, 2006

Some Famous Ladies That I Admire...

Salma Hayek-- Can you believe this woman is 40? Obviously everyone is aware of the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and a wonderful actress.. But she is also the national spokesperson for Avon's Speak Out Against Domestic Violence program, a million-dollar initiative to raise awareness about this brutal epidemic, which will touch 31 percent of American women during their lifetime. Hayek's also using her voice to change policy: She lobbied the Senate last year to renew the Violence Against Women Act, which allocates funding to train police officers and prosecutors; pay for victims' legal counsel; and study how victims are affected by unemployment, kidnapping, and immigration laws. "We cannot tolerate a world in which one in three women is or will be a victim of domestic violence," Hayek said in her July 2005 testimony before the Judiciary Committee. "One of the dangers with this issue is that most of us say, 'That's not my problem.' In reality, it affects our whole society, because we are all connected." And to top it all off she is the Executive Producer of the new series "Ugly Betty" which I ADORE!
Alicia Keys-- I LOVE this picture of her.. She is one of my absolute favourite artists.. Singer, songwriter, musician, composer, pianist, record producer and active philanthropist (Keep a Child Alive and Frum the Ground up are the charities that she actively works with).. This woman is the type of person that is an exceptional role model for young women and adults alike (sorry Paris.. you will never be as "hot" as Alicia!)...
Sandra Oh-- Canada's own Grey's Anatomy star.. she's got such a good sense of self.. and she always has the best quotes.. "You just don't care about what people think. But it's hard to do because people tell you what they think all the time. It's sort of nuts. We actors, we're a fragile bunch, and yet we need to be strong because 90% of our lives is rejection. You have to figure out what really is important."


Lisa Ling-- After leaving The View in 2002 (probably the BEST decision of her life! She was way too evolved for those women!) Lisa became the host of "National Geographic Explorer". What I admire about her the most is the fact that she is willing to go completely out of her comfort zone in order to show how people around the world are living. She has risked her life time and time again in order to provide valuable information segments to her viewers.







Shakira.. belly dancing goddess.. she is the reason why I am a belly dancing fanatic.. not only is she a phenomenal performer.. she is a philanthropist who wants to ensure the development of her native country Colombia.. Shakira was honored at an United Nations ceremony because she created the Pies Descalzos Foundation, a charity that helps to protect children from violence in Colombia. At the event she said: "Let's not forget that at the end of this day when we all go home, 960 children will have died in Latin America [1]."





Nandita Das-- acclaimed indian actress who is actually SELECTIVE in the roles she chooses to play! I haven't seen this woman dance gaily around a tree and I'm hoping I never have to.. I have so much respect for Nandia for always going against the stupid norms within the Bollywood industry.






Natalie Portman-- Talented beyond words (she knows five languages and she graduated from Harvard!).. not to mention she is a fabulous actress that commands respect in every role that she takes on..






Thandie Newton-- Intelligence (received her education in anthropology at Cambridge University in England) and beauty with a killer accent.. Interestingly enough, her name means "Beloved"and she played the character "Beloved" in Oprah's production of the movie with the same name..








Lisa Bonet-- My favourite Cosby Kid.. sigh.. I wish her and Lenny Kravitz stayed together.. what a beautiful looking couple they made.. I'm so happy that I am able to see Ms. Bonet in both The Cosby Show and A Different World re-runs.. I always wanted to be like her as a child.. I think she is exceptionally beautiful..